ok first thing is first please don't ask me about it! that's why I'm putting it up here! and please don't ask me if i am doing the right thing and ask if i will regret it later! the answer is yes i am doing the right thing and yes i probably will regret it but that's what i will deal with later.
the main reasons for me coming home are lots, i haven't really felt happy while i have been here at all, i feel lonely and out of place. i'm just not happy at all and i have this feeling inside me that's is just eating me up and makes me feel so sick i can't just stand it any longer. i miss every one at home and even a simple thing like talking to them takes planing. and that's not how i want to live my life
also i have been let down alot while i have been here, work, friends etc! and that has been getting me down! as well as frustrated and angry and has ending up costing me a hell of a lot of money.
its hard to explain feeling the way i feel and i know i should maybe have given it a little longer but the pain it is given me is unbearable. imagine being in a forest, lost and its cold, dark and you can see now way of getting out at all your stuck and scared with no way out! that's how i feel. only i do have a way out, and yes it maybe is the easy way out but I'm taking it and that's home!
look travailing and living in another country is not for every one! i thought it was for me! as it turns out it isn't at all i need to be around people i love and Care about (yes staying at the farm has been soo nice and my Auntie Carole and Uncle Simon have been brilliant at making me feel welcome) i have learnt that i don't seem to look at the whole picture before doing things, i just think of the good things and cast the bad aside! and something that 'seems idealistic' is probaley not and what really matters is what your heart is telling you not your head because your head can forget your hart never does. (god i'm making it sound like i'm breaking up with some one)
so there that why i'm feeling the way i do! Ellen i'm sorry just proves you are strong and brave and i really admire you! and well done! i am so sorry though! i do feel i have let you down a bit! xx
i know you all seems to want whats best for me (well most of you) and it is let me deal with the after effects!
thank you all that have followed but i guess this will be one of the last posts!
Thanks Adam xxx
Tuesday 24 February 2009
Thursday 19 February 2009
WHAT A WEEK! :-S
ok so this week has crazy! and not in the good way!
ok so on Monday was the day i said good bye to my rents and i was going to Auckland! so i was able to go to the gate with them to say good bye which was nice in one way but horrible in another! i then went to Auckland lets just cut a long story short with that one and say i didn't like it (at all ) so booked a flight for wednesday to come back! so i am back at my uncles and decided i will move and get a job in Christchurch its only an hour away so need to family and its a nice friendly (and kinda English) im happy now ( as i was not before) and i am excited about what i can find i am just sorting out my CV and get cracking on the whole job front!
will fill you in more when i have more time but i am in a internet cafe and have to get a lot done!!!!!
ok so on Monday was the day i said good bye to my rents and i was going to Auckland! so i was able to go to the gate with them to say good bye which was nice in one way but horrible in another! i then went to Auckland lets just cut a long story short with that one and say i didn't like it (at all ) so booked a flight for wednesday to come back! so i am back at my uncles and decided i will move and get a job in Christchurch its only an hour away so need to family and its a nice friendly (and kinda English) im happy now ( as i was not before) and i am excited about what i can find i am just sorting out my CV and get cracking on the whole job front!
will fill you in more when i have more time but i am in a internet cafe and have to get a lot done!!!!!
Thursday 12 February 2009
I hate Natwest! but i am having fun :-)
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
first of all i hate natwest bank! because they just wont let me transfer my money over here unless i do it it person in a UK bank! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr but i do love my favorite auntie CAROLE and she knows why!
right so part from that all is good! the rain has started to pour though so stuck inside! but that means i can start sorting things out like work and stuff! as i speak i am just getting some e-mail address and phone numbers for production company's and just going to e-mail them my cv etc! see what happens!
nothing else to really talk about! sorry this is a big of a boring post really isn't it!
oh we went to Christchurch yesterday which is the nearest big town to where we are staying! that was nice, lots so see we went round gardens, mum liked that then we went to a museum and those who know me knows how board i get easally but i didn't at all! it was really fun and had everything there! from about the early mouri (the first settles to today with mota racing which was cool! we also got on this old tram which took us round the city and told you stuff about it which was fun!
emmm i think that is about it!
oh yer I NEED HEINZ TOM SAUCE! there tom sauce is strange and i need heinz!!!
love to all xxxx
first of all i hate natwest bank! because they just wont let me transfer my money over here unless i do it it person in a UK bank! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr but i do love my favorite auntie CAROLE and she knows why!
right so part from that all is good! the rain has started to pour though so stuck inside! but that means i can start sorting things out like work and stuff! as i speak i am just getting some e-mail address and phone numbers for production company's and just going to e-mail them my cv etc! see what happens!
nothing else to really talk about! sorry this is a big of a boring post really isn't it!
oh we went to Christchurch yesterday which is the nearest big town to where we are staying! that was nice, lots so see we went round gardens, mum liked that then we went to a museum and those who know me knows how board i get easally but i didn't at all! it was really fun and had everything there! from about the early mouri (the first settles to today with mota racing which was cool! we also got on this old tram which took us round the city and told you stuff about it which was fun!
emmm i think that is about it!
oh yer I NEED HEINZ TOM SAUCE! there tom sauce is strange and i need heinz!!!
love to all xxxx
Monday 9 February 2009
END OF THE ROAD!
ok so the tour is done! we have been do dunedin which i'm not gogin to lie was baoring but did get to see a dragon parade for the end of chinese new year which was cool! from there we went to omarue which was brillant we got to see sealions in the wild and yellow eyed pengins! i have video fotage which i will add on later! to see them we went up to this hyde and waited watching this beach ( yes for about 3 hours i was a bird watcher!) but it was amazing seeing these pengins (tiny as well) waddling up the beach to theer nests was just amazaing! while all this was happing there for like 20 wild sealions just sunbathing on the beach, was so funny becaus ethy looked dead but every so often they would flap a fin! from there we drove back to Ashburton (which is where my uncal lives, well not ashburton but i'm not sure what the place is called laurston????, i am sure my auntie who follows this blog will soon comment on the name) tomorrow i have the FUN task of sorting out my money and banking and stuff GREAT! but what can you do i got to live!
ok that is it for now i will post videos and stuff later when i have edited them! ok bye for now xxxxx
ok that is it for now i will post videos and stuff later when i have edited them! ok bye for now xxxxx
Friday 6 February 2009
finally the videos from hong kong!
Sorry for amount of time this took me to do! but hey i did it! via face book! (see it does solve everything) but i do apologize for the quality as i had to make them less quality or it would have fore ever to load! make sure you check out the blo beow of queens town, sorry i went a bit blog crazy today!
Disney Land
the budda
Disney Land
the budda
Queenstown
ok so yer we are in queens town and it is really nice the sun is shining ( i have a bit of a tan and that is not like me at all)The place is full of brits most of them working and living here! every where you go be it eating, drinking, jet boating you will be served by a brit! But we are staying in a really nice motel (run by kiwis btw not brits ha ha ha )and it opened the day we got here so we could not ask for it to be newer or cleaner! so yesterday (when we got here) we just had a wonder around looked at the shops and at the attractions you can do like jet boating, parasailing, bungy jumping (no thank you), sky diving etc etc. we then had a nice meal in a sea food restaurant which was nice and then strolled all the way back up the hill to are motel to sleep arrrrrr.
Today! it's waitangi day which is a New Zealand Bank Holiday!
from wiki!
Waitangi Day is a significant day in the history of New Zealand. It is a public holiday held each year on 6 February to celebrate the signing of the Treaty of Waitangi, New Zealand's founding document, on that date in 1840. The Treaty made New Zealand a part of the British Empire, guaranteed Māori rights to their land and gave Māori the rights of British citizens.
So there you go that is a bit of information for you all (see you do learn something every day!) and my dad and i decided to do some trilling stuff today! We started off with a cable car up to the top or a mountain where we did Luging! it is a bit like a sledge you can steer of dry land! that was fun! then we had some lunch in a irish pub (to be sure, to be sure) and then dad and I booked into 1 hour of jet boating which was really fun BUT at the start they asked me if i would like to wear a rain mac because of the spray back i said NO I WON'T GET WET! and they sat me right at the back in the corner which you get soaked in! ha ha ha was great fun tho!
we are now back in the room just having a rest before we go into town again for some nice food and drink YUM!
then tomorrow Dunedin another big town! bring it on!
p.s oh by the way instead of posting the pics on here i have found a way for all you non-facebookers to see my pics on face book! ill post the link on here so you can see them!
bye for now! and if your reading this please comment i do like them ha ha ha! if your a follower just sign in! if not just click on the 0 comments bit below! and type a way and be anonymous then i think you don't have to be a member!
xxxxxxx i'm going not for real!!!!
Today! it's waitangi day which is a New Zealand Bank Holiday!
from wiki!
Waitangi Day is a significant day in the history of New Zealand. It is a public holiday held each year on 6 February to celebrate the signing of the Treaty of Waitangi, New Zealand's founding document, on that date in 1840. The Treaty made New Zealand a part of the British Empire, guaranteed Māori rights to their land and gave Māori the rights of British citizens.
So there you go that is a bit of information for you all (see you do learn something every day!) and my dad and i decided to do some trilling stuff today! We started off with a cable car up to the top or a mountain where we did Luging! it is a bit like a sledge you can steer of dry land! that was fun! then we had some lunch in a irish pub (to be sure, to be sure) and then dad and I booked into 1 hour of jet boating which was really fun BUT at the start they asked me if i would like to wear a rain mac because of the spray back i said NO I WON'T GET WET! and they sat me right at the back in the corner which you get soaked in! ha ha ha was great fun tho!
we are now back in the room just having a rest before we go into town again for some nice food and drink YUM!
then tomorrow Dunedin another big town! bring it on!
p.s oh by the way instead of posting the pics on here i have found a way for all you non-facebookers to see my pics on face book! ill post the link on here so you can see them!
bye for now! and if your reading this please comment i do like them ha ha ha! if your a follower just sign in! if not just click on the 0 comments bit below! and type a way and be anonymous then i think you don't have to be a member!
xxxxxxx i'm going not for real!!!!
NZ 2
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